Self Love and Why it is Important (and no, it’s not *that*!)

Self-love and why it’s important.

Self love is often difficult.

I know. I have been there.

I have beaten myself up, put myself down, thought I wasn’t good enough, that I didn’t deserve whatever it was that I wanted, etc. etc. etc.

It was a dismal place. It was exhausting. I was constantly seeking validation from others, and then not accepting it when it did come because I wasn’t good enough and they didn’t know what they were talking about because I already ‘knew’ that I was rubbish. Friends and family thought that I was mad trying to have my own business. They thought that I should stay in the ‘comfort’ of being employed – even though they could see how miserable I was.

I was scared, I was alone and I needed people to support me. But all that I heard was that it would be difficult. It would be lonely. I would not succeed.

Then I was diagnosed with diabetes and high cholesterol. I was scared. I was getting a load of advice from those well-meaning friends and family as if they knew what was best for me and of course most of it was total rubbish and contradictory and based on stuff other people had told them and was out-dated or about the wrong type of diabetes.

But I was determined to prove them wrong! I was determined to find my own way and get the right support for me and to start practising my own self-love.

I still find bits of those old voices creeping in when I am not careful. But I have developed strategies to support me and to work on both those inner voices and to deal with the voices of those well meaning, but not necessarily helpful, external people. And to love myself.

Throughout my extensive coaching, NLP, hypnotherapy and other training I have found and developed self-care strategies that have really worked for me. With support from my coaches, my peers and other like-minded people I have worked hard on myself and have created a new life for myself.

This takes work! It is not easy stuff! It takes consistency, it takes effort, it takes time. But it gets easier with daily practice. And it works!

But through following these self-love strategies I have:

  • Set up my own business helping other people which is something I love!
  • Got some real life/work balance
  • Got my own health back under my control.

 

  • Do you want to overcome self doubt?
  • Do you want to deal with the inner voices?
  • Do you want to be strong enough to deal with the doubters?
  • Do you want to make plans and stick to them?
  • Do you want to deal easily with the usual daily stressors?

Here are some of my top, go to self-love strategies for falling back in love with myself and beating the doubt:

Journalling

I have a morning and evening routine with my journal. In the morning I write out all of the ‘stuff’ coming up for me. I write out everything that is running around in my mind, all of the inner voice rubbish, all of the doubts, fears, overwhelm, general ‘stuff’ that might be getting in my way. Then I write out what I want to achieve for the day. I give myself permission to ignore the doubts and stuff and to focus on what I am going to get done. The act of writing out the fears enables my mind to let go of them and to focus on what needs to happen.

Then in the evening I journal about two things: firstly, what I am grateful for; and secondly, on at least 3 achievements from the day. The gratitude work helps me to focus on the good things in my life – such as my health, my freedom, my supporters. The achievement work helps me to remember that I can have an effect on my life and the lives of others.

Mindfulness

I know that some people think that this is not for them. I know that this can divide people. But it works! I personally use an app but this can be as simple as going for a walk and paying attention to the things around you – such as the feeling of sun on your face, the flowers in the gardens, the sound of the birds, the feeling of your legs moving, just what is going on around you and not on the thoughts in your head.

Planning

I used to hate planning! I hated the feeling that I couldn’t be free to do what I wanted, when I wanted. I suppose it was a hangover from my corporate life. But my wonderful nutrition coach kept insisting on it and I gave in and have never looked back. I plan my food for the week, which keeps me on track and my diabetes under control. I plan in some time for myself to make sure that I do something fun or active each day. It allows me to break up my day and I get so much more done.

If you feel my story has resonated with you remember that you are not alone.

I remember feeling very lonely. That no one else understood what I was going through. That no one else had ever been where I was. I was wrong! There is always help and support when you ask for it.

If you need some support now I have some great **free** resources to download immediately.

If you know that you are ready to take action and get joy and purpose back in your life now book a complimentary call with me. In the call we will explore ways we can work together and I will coach you so you can walk away with a solution to put into place immediately. Note – this call is normally valued at £100. You can book your complimentary 45 minute call here.

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